Day in the Life

Each week a random day in the life of me and my family.

Hello! It’s been a while. I’ve been gathering my thoughts and sorting stuff in my mind, so I needed a well earned break from over thinking and needed to just do ME for a little while. I hope that’s ok. Ive been spending time with my family, reading, writing and concentrating on my photography. To be honest I really needed to re-evaluate shit, I’ve been letting things get to me that I shouldn’t. Like social media, what other people are posting, thinking and whether they are judging me or not. I hate that these things bother me and I am really trying to be brave about it and think fuck it, if they don’t like me they can just unfollow me. It’s harder than it sounds.
One thing that’s changed the most for me over this past month is Slimming World. After a lot of deliberating I have decided to finish attending the group’s and following the plan altogether. This choice came after discovering a book when I was away in London that I read cover to cover in a day and a half, this book is called The Goddess Revolution by Mel Wells. Now usually I’m  not into the ‘self help’ type thing but I was talking to a lovely lady that I follow on Instagram and she recommended it. Needless to say I was completely absorbed by it within minutes. While there are some things in there that I don’t 100% agree with and wouldn’t necessarily follow to the letter but the overall ethos of the book spoke to me on a totally different level and came at the perfect time for me, because things have not been good for a while.

I’ve discovered that a lot of my depressive state, anxiety about the way I look and feel and how others perceive me revolves around food. Losing weight was great, looking slimmer was brilliant but over all STILL didn’t make me happy. Not on the inside, I quickly realised it was all becoming a numbers game for me. I HAD to see those numbers decreasing, there was no other option. They had to, but even when they did it wasn’t enough. I was still miserable inside. I was missing food, food that I loved to eat and getting to a place where I couldn’t think of anything other than what I was putting inside my body.

I was waking up Mondays feeling great, on plan and full steam ahead. By Tuesday I was feeling ok, thinking and counting a lot more but over all ok. Come the evening wanting a treat but remembering you can’t you have already had your daily allowance, waking up Wednesday still wanting that treat and feeling unsatisfied. Wednesday evening was hardest because Neil is at football and he distracts me from my craving and I just ignore it. Thursday… I.Hate.Thursday….. weigh in day!!! So I can’t go to the group’s during the day because of the kiddies, I have to go to the 7pm one which means I was starving myself ALL DAY long and then not even drinking after 4pm in case the numbers on the scales went up!!! What. The. Fuck??? That is not normal. Which brings me to Friday and by the evening I crash and gorge on all those delicious treats I’ve wanted since Monday, then it’s Saturday and fuck it I’ve already gone off plan so let’s forget about Saturday. Sunday I’ll just spend the day loathing myself because of the last two days, go to bed unsatisfied and hating myself and start all over again tomorrow.  This cannot go on.

That was my week, every week. I thought it was working because I’d lost so much weight and was still loosing some on and off but this mind set is seriously unhealthy. Once I read this book, sat and thought about what I was doing to my body but more importantly my mental state (especially surrounding food) I knew I had to stop. Now I’m grateful I started Slimming World in the first place, it helped me loose a big bulk of weight I needed rid of and helped me form some new eating habits (mainly surrounding sugar). So for that reason I’m happy I did start Slimming World but the time has come to stop.

I would recommend the book to anyone who needs to fall back in love with themselves. I know I did ❤

Chat soon

Natalie Abraham AKA Mostly Mummy

xoxo

Follow:

(photo bit blurred to respect privacy of other children)

Thursday 6th July

This morning started off so much easier than most mornings in this house and I have no idea why? We had a busy day right from the start of the day, as it was Connor’s first transition day into the SRB school he will be attending full time in September (SRB prev post). Now usually Connor sleeps in due to him having such trouble sleeping through the nights so I had already decided last night to wake up early get myself and Florence sorted and ready to go before even attempting to stir him. It can go one of two ways he either jumps up happy or he has a total meltdown and it goes from bad to worse from thereon out. However, despite the late night he got up really well. Now I didn’t want to add pressure this morning and push for him to come downstairs too quickly so I took him some breakfast in bed and he watched his tablet, like a King. Two pieces of marmite on toast and a chocolate brioche. Sometimes it can take as long as an hour to eat, an hour to get dressed and I have to physically dress him which can be so hard if he decides to fight me. I knew I would have to be ready, but he was an absolute delight this morning which really helped. Once he was readywe waited for my Mum to arrive, she was coming as reinforcements for me because Neil had to work and we had no idea how Connor would react to this huge change. Connor is not all that great with new places, new people and large numbers of people and in a school there can be quite a bit of noise, for Connor that is a no no.

We managed to get in the car all fine, with a slight anxious episode over the cars because he is really struggling with traffic at the moment, something else we are trying to work on. The traffic just simply moves too fast, it’s too quick and the cars etc are just too big. Arriving at his beautiful school my Mum was immediately impressed just at looking at the building, the difference in the site compared to his last place is so extreme there really is no comparison. Parked the car we made our way to the reception area and they were expecting us. The reception staff paid no mind to the meltdown that ensued in the foyer because he had spotted their sports day setup and the slide in the playground and just simply had to get to it. They called down to the classroom and asked his class teacher to come out to meet him, by the time she got to us we were mid meltdown and both sat on the floor, me trying to clam him with soothing voice and deep pressure. Once his teacher arrived she got down on the floor straight away, she sat with us at his level. Nobody batted an eye, she new that Connor needs to not see her as a threat and she needed to watch me and learn what calms him. As a family we spend alot of time on the floor. Myself, my husband, our teenage son, my family and my friends. These people that are in my inner circle who don’t care what society thinks when they are sat on the floor in Asda, who don’t listen to the passers by who mutter about the ‘spoilt child’ kicking out in the car park. My people who love Connor exactly how he is weren’t there (my Mum had hold of Florrie) but this lady just got down instinctively and I knew straight away she was going to take good care of my boy. After I explained what the problem was she took us outside and straight into the playground so Connor could go on the slide. He just ran in, he didn’t look back. After around 5 minutes of us chatting to his class teacher and Connor playing on the slide with another teacher, the other children in his class came out to play with him. They had be prepped that Connor was joining their class over the last few days and were excited to meet him. They all started playing together and Connor was laughing his best belly laugh, I knew he was fine. Myself, my Mum and Florence backed away slowly and Connor just carried on running and we could hear his laugh all the way up by the top gate. I knew that I would keep checking my phone just like all Mums do on the first few days, even weeks and given our history of how our boy has been treated, no one could blame me for my nerves. We strolled in the sunshine along the brook all the way into the town, spying on the ducks with my daughter and chatting. My phone didn’t ring. Not once.

I’m so please that the summertime seems to be returning, there have been a few rainy days where I’ve thought that was it. We had our hot two weeks of summer and we were done but the the sun has been such a lush change today and Florence loves to be in the pushchair so it was win win. Connor being able to go to a suitable school is going to be so good for him but at the same time it will be wonderful for Florence. She has never had anytime with me just to herself and with her flagging up a few social concerns I am desperate to get her to toddler groups etc, which is next to impossible with Connor it tow. We managed to have a stroll around the town and grab a coffee before walking back to collect Connor before lunch as we didn’t want to push him too far straight away. He came out witha great big smile on his face and a lovely visual daily diary for me to look at, showing some of the things he had done that morning. We waved ‘goodbye, see you next time.’.

The kiddos had an easy peasy lunch of a happy meal while I did a few muggle jobs, like going to the bank and popping into Morrisons for a few bits. We came home and while Connor chilled out, Florence napped and my Mum watched her crazy Australian soap operas, I popped to Slimming World to weigh for the week. After Mum had gone home with two big bags of our washing (still no machine), we decided to do a bit of sensory play with bubbles and shaving foam in the bath, which is always a winner with both babies especially Connor. Jay came home the usual time and was excited to hear all about Connor’s first day, he is so grown up I take it for granted how he takes everything in his stride. It’s not easy have a sibling with a disability. Connor takes up alot of our time and energy but Jay gets on with it and we are lucky with such a big age gap, that he is happy to be left to himself and his mates. Teenager in residence. The kids had a lovely tea, I treated them to a bit of steak (which they both love) with veg and homemade chips. So now we are all clean, fed and ready for bed.

Managed to get them tucked up and sleeping Connor by 7pm (miracles can happen) and Florrie was more like 8pm, which again isn’t too bad. I was going to work on some theory for my photography portfolio because it has to be submitted in 5 weeks time and I cannot leave anything to chance. Whenever I get time I need to work on things, because you never know when the routine will go tits up in this house and I will run out of time. However, it didn’t go quite according to plan. I lay on the bed to get my head together and the next thing I knew it was 5am Friday. Neil said he did try to wake me and I wasn’t very nice to him, that will teach him eh. So no, I didn’t get any portfolio done, or any writing. Well done me. On a separate note, I can’t believe that it has taken me to nearly 32 years of age to finally do the things I have been passionate about my whole life, and always thought were a pipe dream. Turns out nothing is if you work hard enough for it.

So that’s it, a day in our life this week. A really proud, important day and such a massive step towards a whole new future for Connor.

Chat soon

Natalie Abraham AKA Mostly Mummy

xoxo

Follow:


It’s that time of week again already and I went to group feeling pretty positive. Not that I was expecting a loss like last week, the 3lb I lost last week is usually a really good week for me and that never gets any higher really. This week I was hoping for 1.5lb loss and that is exactly what I got. So I am feeling good. This is the level I am hoping to maintain now through to my new target which is only 5lb away. I feel like I am back in the zone now, good meals, good plans, I am doing well and I actually feel great again. Not just when I stand in front of the mirror but in my head, I feel clean and refreshed again. This may sound cheesy but it’s true and in my house you need to keep a clear head and be on your toes because my kids can be a bit feral.

I am thinking of doing a foodie post next week. Just some go to recipe that I make that is syn free and something that most of the family will eat. Not sure what I will do yet but I love to read food blogs, slimming blogs and I am so obsessed with budgets, I am always challenging myself to beat the price of the previous weeks food shopping bill. So I thought a family friendly recipe that is kind to the purse and the hips will be a winner.

Hope I can keep up this level of motivation, I have alot of stuff coming up in the diary and staying on plan is the one thing that tends to slip. So fingers crossed. I hope you manage to stay focused on whatever it is you are trying to achieve.

Chat soon

Natalie Abraham AKA Mostly Mummy

xoxo

Follow:

Hey everyone. I have been so so bad with updating my blog lately and I’ve missed it incredibly but I haven’t been in the right frame of mind for sharing these past few weeks to be honest, but all that is about to change so prepare to be bombarded. These past few weeks (I think at least 3 maybe even longer) I have had so much going on with the kids and life in general that I’ve not been myself. I was certainly not in any kind of mood for Slimming World. I had no room in my brain for this kind of commitment and the determination had completely left me, but I’m back. With a totally fresh approach and am back in full swing.

Over the past 3 or 4 weeks I gained pretty much every week, my meals are always pretty much on plan but then something would happen and I would just be like ‘F this…pass me that cake!!’. With so much going on all three of my children are going through big changes right now, my eldest has been picking his GCSE’S, my youngest son has finally been given a place in a special school plus lots of new therapies started for him and finally my daughter has just started on her journey towards possible diagnosis of ASD. So as you can imagine sometimes I just needed that damn ice cream, no questions asked. Then of course the more you gain the more you give up. I soon found, all other things aside Mum duties, housewife life (and all my other roles) the one role that was getting more and more miserable was me. Natalie. After thinking it over it was my body confidence that was starting to crumble a bit. Now I’ve never been a big girl, and most people would argue that just because I’m smaller means I should have a complex with my body (you’d be wrong) but I’ve always said you need to be happy in the skin you are in and I wasn’t.  Not even a little bit.

When I started Slimming World back in May 2016, after a few months and a few pounds down I noticed a smile again. A feeling of pride when I would get a lovely comment from a friend or even a sideways glance from some guy at the supermarket. It all helps. Mostly I was happy in my skin. Over the past few months I’ve had such a full on life at home that something had to give, and it had to be me. I’m a Mum and a Wife, I couldn’t be me as well there was just no time. Then I started my photography course and I could see a little glimpse of me in the mirror again, things had to change I couldn’t just disappear all together. Slimming World gives me the ability to love my outside which in turn gives me the ability to love my inside, which when your a Mum is super important because you often come last in the pecking order and it’s not an easy job.

So long story short, I’m back. Back on plan with a bang and feeling fantastic, excited and my mind is healthy again. At group this week I lost 3lb and am now 6lb away from the new target I set myself, which I would like to loose before my anniversary at the end of July. One of the few nights a year we have away from the kids, so to have an even bigger boost in confidence will work wonders for that night and my husband will definitely be pleased with that 😉.

Chat soon 

Natalie Abraham AKA Mostly Mummy 

xoxo 

Follow:

Saturday 20th May 2017

Up and at ’em pretty early this morning, not that that is a foreign concept to me because the kids (the little two anyway) are always early risers so I’m definitely used to it but today it was me jumping out of bed at the crack of dawn getting myself organised for the day ahead. A few months back I enrolled on a photography course and I’ve been waiting for this day for ages now. Over the last 18 months/2 years I have become so fascinated and truly in love with all things photography, from taking photographs to finding new work by photographers I love, to learning the technical sides to the art form. I am obsessed. So I told Neil that I was going to pay a small fortune to study photography at a higher level and have every intention of taking that education further if I can, it just seemed like the next steps for me. I can now say that it is one of the greatest decisions I’ve ever made. Once I arrived at the course venue I met the other students that will be taking the course with me, all like minded people all there for their own personal reasons from learning more about a new hobby to a complete change in career and a wide range of ages and backgrounds. I’m really chuffed to say that I have something in common with most of them (as well as a shared passion for photography) and I think I’m going to enjoy spending more time with them all, but the person I am most in awe of is my tutor. He is a brilliant man and is fast becoming an idol of mine with his fantastic approach to teaching and his complete brilliance behind a lens.

The morning was spent outlining our course and discussing the portfolios we will need to produce, as well as discussing our favourite photographers as well as sharing pictures and stories of our own. Just before lunch our tutor announced that we would be leaving in around 20 mins to go on an excursion across Cardiff, dashing to an art gallery for a guest lecture to the opening of an exhibition in a gallery down the bay which he had to attend as it was his exhibition of a project he has been working on for the last two years. It was pouring with rain but I didn’t care one bit, even though I was dressed completely inappropriately for the weather in jeans, tee shirt and a loose cardigan I was so excited to see his work as well as the others and hear the lecture on the language of photography from a speaker who came all the way down from London. Now I realise that this is not everyone’s cup of tea and to be honest 2 years ago if you had asked me I would of said it’s probably not mine either but dashing all across the city, dodging one torrential down pour after another, giving my opinion on the work I was looking at and hearing that of other people is by far one of the best days I have had in a long time.

After we grabbed lunch on the go we got back to the course venue to do some actual learning, I can now say I know how to use a camera. This may sound stupid but if you think it’s a case of point and press you really couldn’t be more wrong. Once the course was wrapping up towards the end of the day we talked about the coursework we will have to produce throughout the process and the portfolio we will be doing for our final marks, I literally couldn’t wait to make a start. The funny thing is as this session came to a close I was a little sad, I didn’t want it to end at all. I had the best time and cannot wait to my next class. Once I got home I completely bombarded poor Neil with every detail of my day and I’m pretty sure after at least an hour of my talking about it all, he was bored out of his brain. I finally feel like I’m doing what I was supposed to be doing all this time. I’m sure that probably makes no sense to anybody but me right now, but between writing my blog, some projects I’ve been asked to start and some personal ones of my own that I will share in due course and now this photography I actually feel like me. I am fully aware I sound like a crazy person and I was totally happy with my life as it was (before I get accused of hating my life and being ungrateful) but I feel amazing right now and like I am EXACTLY where I’m supposed to be.

My evening was pretty special too, I had such a relaxed evening with Neil. We finally caught up on Masterchef  a whole week after the final episode and somehow managed to remain blissfully unaware who the winner was, we had some nice grub and battled with the kiddies to go to bed. Just another night of the week really. Every other weekend Jay (our eldest) spends the weekend at his Dad’s house (my Husband is not his biological Father), this weekend was his one away so we just had to battle the littles. Bathtime, storytime, play and bed. Yeh right, It’s never that simple they always throw something in to the mix. This week Connor has been back to disrupted sleeping and tonight was no different but I’m on such a high right now that I didn’t even care. So that’s a wrap on my day really, I’m so glad I chose to write about today. I know I will want to look back on this memory.

Chat soon

Natalie Abraham AKA Mostly Mummy

xoxo

Follow:


So the first week back is over and done with and if I’m being totally honest I really didn’t give it my all. I went to weigh totally expecting a gain as it was also my star week and I tend to hold a little water and get quite bloated, I really would of deserved a small gain to be honest as I didn’t really think about my week and ate hardly any speed food but I managed to get a maintain. So I’ll take that and get back on track. This coming week I am going to try and cram in as much speed food as I can possibly stomach because that’s what really works for me, I would be happy with a loss ANY loss at this stage just to kick start me because I’m definitely the kind of person who pushes herself more when I see results. I need the numbers. The next few weeks are really hectic for me what with my new course I’ve now started, we also have some really important meetings with the local authority surrounding Connor and getting him a statutory assessment (I will explain this in a different blog post) plus I have actually been asked to review some projects and do some commissioned pieces of writing which will keep me really busy.

So I think I am going to need to meal planning everything I eat over the next few weeks if I’m going to have any chance at reaching my new target in time for our wedding anniversary at the end of July. I also have some meal plans, recipes and budgeting content planned which will all tie in (don’t make things easy for myself do I?). Anyway, a very short and sweet update this week as not much to report. Hope everyone is on plan if they’re following any kind of diet/lifestyle choice and I will update you all again next week.

Chat soon

Natalie Abraham AKA Mostly Mummy

xoxo

Follow:


I haven’t written a Slimming World blog yet but I’ve decided to do like a weekly update which will hopefully help me to stay motivated (we’ll see). So I originally started Slimming World back in May of 2016 and I got off to a great start, I was loving feeling better and when I saw weight dropping off I was totally addicted. I set myself a target and things were going pretty great, I was loving the comments people made and it really did wonders to my self esteem. HOWEVER (and that’s a big however) as soon as I reached my target weight I got lazy. Well I’m not sure if lazy is the right word, I always making a homemade meal from scratch for my family every day of the week so probably not lazy just bored.

I’m sure everyone gets bored on a diet I can’t be the only one and that’s how I started to see it, as a diet. It was a lifestyle choice or that’s what it was meant to be but it started to seem like I was punishing myself, never having a day off. So I just stopped. Not straight away it was more a gradual thing, a KitKat here a Ben & Gerry’s there but then it was totally gone. Now, instead of being at the bottom end of my target zone I’m hovering at the top end about to drop over the edge at any minute. I had totally forgotten the feeling of buying the size clothes I desperately wanted to be, forgotten the huge smile inside when someone told me I looked great, I just didn’t want it enough. So here I am, not fat or over weight like before but unhappy with how I look and feel.

Now I’m the kind of person who believes it doesn’t matter what size you are or how you look as long as you’re happy & healthy, now I’m neither. I’m starting to feel slow and sluggish and with my kids that is just in no way acceptable. I spend a huge proportion of my day running around after two small kids and a moody teenager, on top of that I have a hard working husband to cater for and a house to run. I ain’t got time to be slow and sluggish. While I am still within my target and I worked my arse off (literally) to get here, I don’t like the way I look lately. My skin has gone to shit (no one likes a spotty woman in their thirties) and I can see that muffin top creeping back in! (put down the muffins Natalie). I’m just not happy, simple as that. So it’s time to do something about it.

I’ve contacted my consultant and told her exactly how I feel and told her I want to lower my target, I need something to work for again. So I am now officially 9lbs off my new target, I’ve also signed up to do Race for Life in July (I must be mental – I get stitch running up the stairs) with a friend of mine. So that’s it, that’s the plan. I have a new target to aim for and a fun run to get ready for, so I’m going to use that and this blog as my motivation (as well as all the other reasons – healthy mind, body, do it for the kids blah blah blah). The fact is, if I’ve said here that I’m gona do, on all my social media platforms that I’m gona do it, to save face I’m gona have to do it. Right?

Writing is defiantly a form of therapy for me. I suffer with terrible anxiety and writing here on this blog as well as other places really helps to sooth me and take ownership of my thoughts. I also love to cook and I meal plan our families meals each week (because I pride myself on being a budget Queen). I thought I could share some family meal ideas, fave Slimming World recipes, budget meals etc. It’s something I enjoy which will keep me on track too. Combining writing and cooking sounds right up my street. I love to write and I love to eat. Win win. So all in all no actual update this week but it’s a new start, so from here on in my mission is to eat happy again. Join in if you like?!

Chat soon

Natalie Abraham AKA Mostly Mummy

xoxo

Follow: